Breaking Free From Self Doubt
🌱🌷The Bloom Sessions: recovering and trusting your inner voice
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Hi friends
Self-doubt is a normal part of being human at times, and I know I’ve had my fair share over the years. But for some of us, doubt can be too much, overly inhibiting and can hold us back in our lives, as we suppress the voice of our true self, leading to pain and dissatisfaction.
Today’s Bloom Session is about breaking free from self-doubt. Let’s consider its roots, and the consequences of leaving it unaddressed, and create shifts with ten therapeutic journaling questions to delve a bit deeper, and break free from its shackles. By the end, you will experience a shift in your experience of self-doubt, and take action in some way if relevant. Is it time to break free?
Catch up on last week’s Bloom Session here:
Understanding Self Doubt
Self-doubt can feel like a tight leash around us, that whispers lies about our worth, abilities, and potential. Left unchecked, it can chip away at our confidence, paralyse our decision-making, and limit our capacity to live fully.
When we look, self-doubt can reveal deeper patterns that are rooted in past experiences, inner conflicts, or unspoken fears. By exploring these layers with curiosity and compassion, we can begin to untangle its grip and reconnect with our sense of self. We can set ourselves free to live our life as we wish at deeper level.
The Root Causes of Self-Doubt
Self-doubt can stem from deep-seated beliefs formed in early childhood or from later experiences, during moments when our sense of worth or safety was challenged. Self-doubt can arise from unconscious conflicts, often shaped by critical or rejecting relationships, with parents, caregivers, siblings, childhood friends, or other significant figures. In these early interactions, we internalise voices that tell us we are “not enough,” that we should pull back, and restrict ourselves. This can grow into the seeds of doubt that can be crippling later in life, particularly in times of stress or difficulty.
How Self Doubt Can Develop
Unconscious Conditioning: Early life experiences, especially in emotionally charged situations, create internalised messages about our worth. If a child grows up in an environment where love is conditional or where they are criticised for mistakes, they may learn to associate their value with perfection or external validation. These internalised voices can manifest as doubt in adulthood, triggered whenever we face challenges or judgment. We could also experience doubt in cases where we haven’t had adequate support as we developed from our caregivers. Children need praise and mirroring as they meet their challenges, like knocking two wooden bricks together to make a sound, singing a song, or getting dressed. Parents or carers who are emotionally or physically absent, too busy or perhaps they had their own developmental needs unmet, may not provide their children enough of these simple, daily moments of validation, leading to self-doubt in later life.
Defence Mechanisms: self-doubt may act as a psychological defence or adjustment, to protect the ego from the pain of failure or rejection. Our mind may foster doubt as a way to temper expectations or prevent us from taking risks. It’s a paradoxical attempt to keep us “safe” from disappointment, by holding us back from ever trying in the first place.
The Fear of the Unconscious: Self-doubt can also stem from a deeper, often unconscious, fear of our own potential. Carl Jung spoke of the “shadow”—the parts of ourselves we suppress or deny. Self-doubt could be a way we avoid confronting our true power, success, or the parts of ourselves we believe are unworthy. I write about shining a light on your shadow side here, with an exercise.
There are other ways self-doubt can develop, since our human lives are complex, so if you experience self doubt and these don’t ring a bell you can still explore and find ways to break free below. I share a personal post here about losses, which resulted in an increase in self doubt in some aspects of my life, although the post itself not about self-doubt.
The Consequences of Unaddressed Self-Doubt
If left unaddressed, self-doubt can become a silent saboteur of our potential, causing emotional and practical difficulties that ripple through our lives:
Stunted Growth and Inaction: Self-doubt paralyzes us. It keeps us from pursuing our dreams, taking healthy risks, and stepping into new roles or challenges. This leads to missed opportunities for growth and fulfillment.
Chronic Anxiety and Fear: Constant self-doubt fuels a cycle of worry, making us question every decision and action. Teetering on the edge of possibility, while holding ourselves back, can lead to persistent anxiety, stress, and depression.
Damaged Self-Esteem: When self-doubt goes unchecked, it erodes our confidence and self-worth. It creates a feedback loop where our failures, real or perceived, reinforce the belief that we’re inadequate. We end up in a self fulfilling prophecy. Over time, we may lose sight of our inherent value.
Isolation: Doubt can push us away from others. It makes us feel unworthy of love, connection, or recognition, and we may withdraw, or push people away to avoid vulnerability or judgment. Judgement that is often only a projection anyway.
Let us know how self doubt has impacted you in the comments below.