How To Grow Your Courage for A Happier Life

Because we only get one life! With tips and journaling prompts

I’m Kate, a psychotherapist writing about mental health and wellbeing, for you to explore and flourish in a life you love. Upgrade here for therapeutic journaling prompts, tools, resources, meditations and if you’d like to support my work. Thanks for being here!

Hi friends

I’m going through a period of change right now, which at times feels overwhelming. It was my 50th birthday this week, which feels about right! My daughter has flown the nest, and although I miss her, I am so happy she is enjoying university life. I have new health issues to face. Financial worries jumble in my thoughts daily. And on top of this, I’m considering a big move and life change. It’s a lot, and I can’t get through without the shining light of courage.

We all have change and responsibilities to navigate. This shifting time in my life feels as seismic as twenty years ago, when the world as I knew it ended. I followed a hidden dream to become a therapist, after loosing my baby in late pregnancy. The world turned black that day, though because of that, I could see the light.

Courage was the little spark that lit my path. It carried me through my gut-turning grief, muscle-clenching trauma and icy shame.

But I uncovered my courage, so I could spin it all into gold.

Back into the dark tumbled my earlier adaptations, trying to fit in, to do the right thing, to meet the expectations of others: all now impossible anyway. I saw everything with new eyes. From the blackness shone that light of courage, while fear and pain nipped at my heels.

You have your stories that take you into life’s turning points, or springboards - or dead ends. We will only get through them with courage.

What is Courage?

Courage is the ability to face fear, uncertainty, or adversity with strength and determination, despite the risks or potential consequences.

With courage, we take action even when our stomach is clenched and we want to turn back. We step our toe outside our comfort zone, and confront our challenge while the wind beats at our chest.

Whether it is bold acts like a career change, a house move, standing up for a cause, or making difficult decisions. Perhaps you’ll risk your tender heart in a new relationship.

Or maybe courage is for those small, everyday actions, such as speaking up in a meeting, challenging a child or partner, changing a bad habit, or trying something new.

What if We Can’t Find Courage?

If we can’t access our courage, we live in fear, avoidance, and inaction. Goodbye dreams, goals and personal growth. See you later, opportunities. I’ll stay in my comfort zone, thank you very much, in the dark with my regret, unfulfilled aspirations, and dissatisfaction.

Without courage, we can’t confront our challenges, or stand up for our values and beliefs. We compromise our integrity, or allow negative situations to persist.

The more we stick our head in the sand, we may even develop anxiety, low mood or self-esteem, and erode our resilience when faced with adversity.

Without courage, we stagnate in our personal and professional lives.

Why Do We Need Courage?

• Courage is not the absence of fear, but the willingness to act in spite of it.

• Courage empowers us to push through discomfort, take risks, and to grow.

• With courage, we can live authentically, and maintain our integrity in the face of challenges.

• We need courage for our personal growth and for building resilience to get through.

• We need to foster courage to create meaningful change in our lives and the world around us, or to stand up for our beliefs, and take responsibility for our actions.

• Courage is a driving force to push beyond our comfort zone and pursue our goals.

• Courage allows us to face uncertainty, fear, change, obstacles and persist through adversity.

• Courage allows us to take risks and make difficult decisions.

• Courage creates a life of growth and fulfilment.

How to Cultivate Courage

We must cultivate courage if we are to move forwards. I need courage to face my current issues and take responsibility through this period of change. If you need to cultivate courage too, try these.

1. Acknowledge and understand your fears. Naming them reduces their power.

2. Step out of your comfort zone gradually, by taking small, manageable risks, which builds confidence over time. Make a list of small changes to try out this week.

3. Positive self-talk and focusing on past successes can reinforce belief in your ability to face challenges.

4. Challenge your negative thoughts that shroud your courage, by addressing unconscious cognitive patterns here.

5. Surround yourself with supportive people. Life is too short to spend much time with people who don’t support you.

6. Learn from role models who demonstrate courage. What are they doing differently?

7. Practicing calming techniques can help you remain level headed under pressure, and act with courage in difficult situations. I know I’ve allowed stress to impact my body lately, so I need to take my own advice! I’ll be recording more guided meditations soon, a great way to soothe and empower you.

Cultivate self compassion to support you when you feel afraid. We need to take our whole selves forwards, including the vulnerable parts. Warriors keep going when they are wounded, and they never forget where they came from.

Remember that the lotus flower grows in the mud.

Paid subscribers will find 9 journaling prompts to grow courage in the members therapy tools page.

Thanks for reading and being here, you give me the courage to write!

If you enjoyed it please like, comment and share so other people can find it and to support me to grow my publication. Consider upgrading to a paid subscription if you can, and if you want to grow your courage!

With much love and gratitude,

Kate

If you would like to support me but aren’t ready for a subscription, would you prefer to leave a tip? This helps me keep writing these articles for you. Leave a tip here:

‘I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.’ Nelson Mandela

‘Courage is knowing what not to fear.’ Plato

Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go. TS Elliot