Shedding The Victim Drama
And find empowerment instead. The Bloom Sessions 🌱🌷
I’m Kate, a therapist helping you to foster healing, self discovery and personal growth - so you can flourish in a life you love!
Dear friends
Life is tough. They were cruel /horrible /incompetent, and now your life is crappy, right? I have, in past times, found myself slipping into a victim mentality.
Of course, there is pain when we are shouted at, betrayed, or we lose a friend, partner, opportunity or job. Maybe our partner let us down again, or our kids wont listen. It’s like loss, and we must feel our grief, the fire of anger, the burn of rage, and cloak of sadness.
Yes, people should behave better, but sometimes we get stuck, buried under a victim mentality we aren’t aware of. Maybe it was us who unconsciously created the problem in the first place.
This mentality that we usually aren’t aware of can then have repercussions for our relationships, as we unknowingly draw them into our dance.
Are You Stuck in a Victim Mentality?
A victim mentality is a psychological pattern where we see ourselves as powerless, wronged, victimised or or at the mercy of others and external circumstances beyond our control.
It is great way to avoid taking responsibility, or stay stuck in familiar relational dynamics from the past, feel powerless to change our situation - perhaps from earlier experiences of helplessness.
People stuck in a victim mentality may exaggerate or dwell on past injustices, interpret neutral events as targeted attacks, and use their perceived victimhood to gain sympathy or avoid accountability.
This perspective can become self-reinforcing, as it filters experiences through a lens of persecution, limiting personal growth and creating barriers to healthy relationships and emotional well-being.
Some even find validation in suffering. We feel like martyrs fighting the good fight against all these people who we think have it in for us. This internal process skews reality and keeps us stuck in a pattern. It is very common, so this useful model will help you break free.