Taking the Road Less Travelled: Reflections on Creative Living
Hello! I’m Kate, a therapist sharing weekly Letters from Therapy. If you enjoy my writing, make sure you’re subscribed! If you wish for deeper self awareness, acceptance and meaning in your life, upgrading to paid gives access to enriching discovery tools. Your support also makes these letters possible, thank you! Now read on…
The Road Less Travelled
It was always rewarding, witnessing my therapy clients emerging from the dark. I loved every moment. But in truth, it sometimes drained me, and I needed an outlet for all the residual energy from counselling, a place of solace to lose myself in. I craved nourishment and creativity to express and process my own losses too. And I was skint. I dreamt of more, to bring an old hobby back to life. The ‘road less travelled’ beckoned again, to start a business making and selling jewellery. Was it possible?
‘Good luck!’ he laughed as he sauntered off. Paul’s shiny suit and boy-band hair cut glinted in the sunshine as he headed back towards his 9-5. These were the sarcastic words of a friend’s ex husband I bumped into on my way to buy supplies in London. (Note the ‘ex’). I contained a wave of rage. He had added fire-lighter to my fire. Only one way to find out. Surely I could make it work; I was the clever one at school.
I bought a small batch of materials, more than I intended fuelled by Paul’s sarky comment. The mix of defiance and doubt is a potent cocktail. I created and listed some simple earrings on Folksy and Etsy, naming my shops after my daughter. They sold. I used my profit to buy more materials and listed more things. They sold too.
The moons aligned. I was on the right road.
I remembered my therapist saying during my first counselling training: ‘doors fly open when something is right.’
Making something tangible and then selling it to someone who likes it is the most simple, satisfying transaction. It’s not a ‘proper’ job though, is it? I kept it hidden for some time. When I joined instagram (under my business name, not my name, shhh), I found other curious souls making beautiful things and getting paid. I found my people, travelling down the same road, and we walked together.
It became my primary source of income, alongside my therapy work. After a few years of hard slog I was featured in the national press and several magazines. I gained 14k followers across social media, and got to nourish my soul with daily creativity. I committed to the road, and it worked.
I don’t know where I would be without it, and my studio at the end of the garden. I had to give up counselling when I developed long Covid so my jewellery business is often top of my daily gratitude list.
“The unexamined life isn’t worth living.” Socrates
Many people live their life without thinking much about it, going along with what everyone else is doing, towing the line, fitting in, then dying at the end. Like Paul.
In therapy, I encouraged my clients to own their behaviour and choices. It starts with becoming aware, then developing autonomy. I don’t normally give advice, opinions or suggestions. (Some find this very annoying, what am I even paying for? They ask themselves.) I let them sit in the discomfort of the space just for a moment, and then they fill it with their own advice and suggestions. Their inner wisdom appears, much wiser than mine, since it comes from within. This moment takes longer to reach in those who had their autonomy overruled from an early age, who found it hard to find their voice because of circumstance, like Paul. (The UK school system is not good for autonomous thinking either).
You might say to yourself that ‘everyone is doing it’ but do YOU want to? By slowing down and choosing your path, you set your direction according to what matters most to you. Perhaps you are on the road less travelled already, like me, or perhaps you are considering a new path.
We Are What We Do Every Day
What we do each day is our life. Writers are people who write. Artists are people who make art. People who show compassion feel that compassion every day. People who use and abuse others, including corporations, are users and abusers. What you do every day and how you do it is who you are.
Own it, choose it, or change it.
Erik Erikson described the seven stages of man. The final life stage at the end of our life, we experience either ‘ego integrity’, that’s ‘yeah, that was good, I did my best’. Or ‘despair.’ Which one do you want to feel?
Pick your Destination
I read the book ‘The Road Less Travelled’ by Scott Peck in my twenties. I haven’t looked at it since, but one concept stays with me twenty years on. Peck advises for us to decide what the one most important thing is to you in your life going forwards, and to focus on it. To remove all blocks, and build support for it. This happened a few times in my life; becoming a therapist, starting my jewellery business, putting my daughter first when she needed it, and now, becoming a writer.
What is your primary focus, your main direction in life? Knowing this makes decisions so much easier. See the therapeutic journaling prompts below.
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Grab a pen and paper. A few long breaths with your eyes closed first can help you remain present. This enables you to access your true self answers, not what you think you should be doing.
You will find the printable worksheet for this post in the members Therapy Tools Room for paid subscribers. Grab a cuppa and come in? Deepen your self awareness, acceptance and meaning for a more satisfying life.
Let me know your focus and direction, or anything else you’d like to in the comments. I would also appreciate if you restack (share) this post if you think someone else might like it.
Thank you for this, I really enjoyed reading it. The quote about doors flying open when something is right has really got me thinking. Thank you
Beautiful words and thoughts 🌸