Hello! I’m Kate, a psychotherapist sharing weekly Letters from Therapy. If you enjoy my writing, make sure you’re subscribed. Improve your life and relationships and join me to nurture your soul, accept yourself and find deeper meaning, by upgrading to a paid subscription. You’ll get enriching discovery tools, worksheets and journaling, the podcast, the Heal Your Past Course and more. You’re invited!
A 30 Second Breathing Reset for Calm
Hi friends,
I’m lucky to have been able to create a calm life, though I still have the same stresses and strains as any mother to a teen, financial worries, ongoing health issues, recurring grief, world news - and all the usual fare.
When things get too much, like everything happening at once ( I bet you’ve been there too), I don’t want to spiral into unhelpful fight or flight mode. If I don’t keep my head together, my anxiety rises, my mood drops, I can’t handle my responsibilities well and just want to hide under the bed.
Instead, I re-centre myself by adjusting my breath.
The calm reset is an instant way to regulate yourself, reduce anxiety, even improve your sleep and your mood. James Nestor suggests we should all be breathing longer, slower and deeper than we are too.
“No matter what we eat, how much we exercise, how resilient our genes, how skinny or young or wise we are—none of it will matter unless we're breathing correctly. That's what these researchers discovered. The missing pillar in health is breath. It all starts there.” James Nestor
30 Second Calm Reset
Our nervous system can get carried away when we are stressed or anxious. It feeds off worries and can snowball out of control as it pumps adrenalin through our body.
This simple and effective breathing exercise will bring you into the present moment, and into a state of calm: the best place to tackle anything from.
It ensures your body is well oxygenated.
It cuts through anxiety, stress or anger that arise when we go into ‘fight or flight’ mode, even when we don’t need to be.
Slow breathing brings us into the present moment.
Inhale for a count of 4 and then exhale for a count of 6, three times.
The longer, slower exhale causes a parasympathetic response, which calms and relaxes the muscles in your body, switching you out of fight or flight and into regulation. You don’t need to count, but the counting is to ensure that the our breath is longer while you practice; this is what matters here. You can also breathe more into your belly rather than just your chest.
This is an excellent tool to use anytime, especially if you are in a stressful situation, bringing your mind and body back into a state of calm.
Breathe in this way for a few moments now. Notice how you feel, any shift in your body and mind.
Use this reset in stressful situations, before interviews, to gather your wits, calm anxiety, and in daily life to bring you into presence. If you suffer with anxiety, use this regularly to retrain your mind and nervous system into calm and see if you can shift to longer breaths in general.
Slow Breathing for Sleep
Slow breathing is also useful and proven to help you fall asleep. By slowing down your breathing, your mind and body respond by switching into hormonal activity that allows the onset of sleep. Try it tonight.
Oxygen is Fuel
You would be amazed how many clients come in and I notice that their breathing is very shallow. We need to be well oxygenated to function. When I had long covid, I learned breathing methods to help my lungs recover, to retrain my damaged lungs to expand fully again, having been breathless for several months.
You don’t need an illness to develop a shallow breathing habit. Shallow breathing can start during anxious times, but can remain long after. Notice how much of your lungs you use - is it all or just the top?
This won’t be true for everyone, but if it is you, spend a few minutes each day lengthening your breath to retrain your body.
There is no need to worry - as long as you are still standing, your breathing is working!
So, did you notice a difference with the reset? Try it now, and let me know how you found it in the comments.
And as always, press the heart to let me know your reading. If you think someone else might like this please share or restack, to help me reach others who may benefit from my writing.
Until Monday, much love,
Kate
See the PDF and more breathing techniques in the members therapy tools post.
Further reading: Book: Breath by James Nestor, and an article he wrote here.
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Try the reset now, and let me know what impact it had. What else you do when you need to calm down? 🕊️
You can't say 'no' to a 30-second break! Thanks for reminding me to go back to my breath and press the 'reset' button, Kate! 🫁