IWD - Daisy Chain Flower Crown! A letter to my 18 year old daughter. You are good enough and clever enough and kind enough. You work hard enough, you do enough, are beautiful and you have fun enough. Go easy on yourself. Give yourself a break. You are doing so well. See how far you have already come. You really are enough.
I invite you to write a letter or note to your 18 year old self, or to your daughter, niece or a young friend or stranger. What do you wish you knew then? What would you pass on? Let us know in the comments!
This is beautiful Kate. I'm sure my 18 year old self would have appreciated such a letter. Perhaps with an eye roll and an embarrassed exclamation of 'Muuum!', but secretly, it would be treasured and re-read again and again. At 18 I can remember feeling both lost and confused, and utterly confident in embarking in the adventure of adulthood. Honestly, I still feel that way at 38! But I think that's part of the real adventure of life - learning that we can think and feel and be all those things all at once, and we don't have to have a single answer all figured out by an arbitrary deadline. That 18 yr old is still part of me, as is the 88 yr old I hope to become. x
I have been quietly cataloguing a series of letters to my son. He lives on the other side of the country now, his leaving was laced with so many layers and affected me more than I expected (hint: it took me over 12 months to adjust to the concept of him having gone). I want him to know the reasons behind my sadness and to also let him know all the wonderful things I admire about him - his fierceness, his loyalty, his commitment to rigorous training, his ability to do really physically challenging things e.v.e.r.y s.i.n.g.l.e d.a.y in his job, his strength of mind and his fascination with philosophy, the way he still connects with his school friends back here in SA.
Your piece has reminded me of the beauty and the gift that parenting is. The way that you have celebrated your newly minted 18yo daughter is truly special. Thank you for sharing this with us here.
Thank you so much Tiffany. I think it will take me some time to adjust to her going to Uni and beyond, although I’m happy it’s happening! So many conflicting feelings. Your son sounds awesome! ✨⭐️✨
Aah this is so lovely, I hope you enjoy the Dear Daughter series. It's quite magical. I wrote mine at the end of my post today too 💕 . It was quite heartbreaking to write in some ways yet also so beautiful - did you feel the same? xx
Aah that's so lovely. My daughter's abroad just now so I'll have to wait until she gets back to see how it's been received! What a gift for your girl on her special birthday x
What a beautiful and emotive post, stirring so many deep reflections! Happy birthday to your daughter – what a significant milestone! My children are still young, but I always write a mini letter to them within their birthday cards (I buy bigger-sized ones for this purpose). I've never written a letter to my 18-year-old self, but I've thought about things I would love to hear back then. I think that, at times, I still need to hear them. Maybe it's never too late to write it?
That’s such a lovely thing to do for them Aleks. As I was writing this for my daughter I found it lovely to hear the words myself. It seems strange but we can heal ourselves through our own words too. Maybe you can write yourself a note too! ⭐️
Thanks for this beautiful invitation Kate. My 18 year old self still needs a lot of reassurance. My daughter is only 11 but as we are on the cusp of secondary school I think about how she will grow and change into young adulthood. This is such a tender and hopeful letter to reflect upon.
And reflecting on your first paragraphs: I think about all the things I didn’t do, all the things I have done as a mother - and the unexpected twists that are my daughter’s own making. ❤️
I think these letters can be healing and fill in the gaps still left within us. If we start with ourselves, it’s easier to pass what we needed on to our daughters too ❤️
Absolutely beautiful and heartfelt- I love the representation of the duality: there will be pain but also beauty they’re both part of life
I’m inspired to write something to my daughters too. Thankfully there’s still a lot of years until they’re 18… my writing in general is a form of attempt to create a legacy of sorts… that it’s something that they’ll be able to keep and read to their own children and grandchildren in the future (not necessarily the essays here but the compiled books that I have plans for ❤️
I think we have to be realistic as well as inspiring our girls to follow their dreams. Wonderful that you have big plans for your legacy Elin, so many will enjoy that! ✨💛😍
This is gorgeous Kate and resonant. My daughter is just 8 months old and I can feel the potency of this practice. I look forward to writing her a letter in the future. Thank you for sharing this with all of us❤️
I enjoyed writing it for her, and I was worried she might find it cringy but she loved it! Loved your letter too, you’ve been through so much. I hope you remember to write your daughter a letter when she’s old enough! 🙏🏻⭐️✨
This is so beautiful. As someone who is currently sitting in the dark, feeding my one year old daughter, this hit me hard. I can’t even imagine her at 18 yet but hearing your words transported me and taught me that I’m not going to do it all perfectly but she will be okay.. thank you 🙏
I can hardly believe this day has come, it’s quite surreal that it feels but long ago I was sitting in the dark feeding her! Yes don’t be perfect, perfect mothers are hard to live up to! Just be good enough and feel your way forward every day xx 🙏🏻⭐️💛
Ah Kate, this was a wonderful read and so beautiful to witness the relationship with your 18 year old daughter. My daughter is just 4 so in some ways impossible to imagine her as an 18 year old though I can already feel the parallels with the exquisite (yet also excruciating) unravelling as she starts to make her way in the world, beginning with school later this year…(ah my heart, I hope she will be ok!)
Your observations of the world, and her through your eyes are beautiful xx
I’m finally getting to sit with these words, and they make me feel so emotional. I can’t imagine how I will feel when my daughters are 18… but I hope I can write them a letter like this. So beautiful. Xx
Thanks for reading Lauren, I loved writing this for her. I couldn’t imagine it when she was younger either! I know people always say this but it’s come around so fast!
I invite you to write a letter or note to your 18 year old self, or to your daughter, niece or a young friend or stranger. What do you wish you knew then? What would you pass on? Let us know in the comments!
This is beautiful Kate. I'm sure my 18 year old self would have appreciated such a letter. Perhaps with an eye roll and an embarrassed exclamation of 'Muuum!', but secretly, it would be treasured and re-read again and again. At 18 I can remember feeling both lost and confused, and utterly confident in embarking in the adventure of adulthood. Honestly, I still feel that way at 38! But I think that's part of the real adventure of life - learning that we can think and feel and be all those things all at once, and we don't have to have a single answer all figured out by an arbitrary deadline. That 18 yr old is still part of me, as is the 88 yr old I hope to become. x
Haha yes I prefaced it with ‘sorry if this is cringe but…’ to ease the load, but she loved it! 😄🌼💛
I adore this Kate.
I have been quietly cataloguing a series of letters to my son. He lives on the other side of the country now, his leaving was laced with so many layers and affected me more than I expected (hint: it took me over 12 months to adjust to the concept of him having gone). I want him to know the reasons behind my sadness and to also let him know all the wonderful things I admire about him - his fierceness, his loyalty, his commitment to rigorous training, his ability to do really physically challenging things e.v.e.r.y s.i.n.g.l.e d.a.y in his job, his strength of mind and his fascination with philosophy, the way he still connects with his school friends back here in SA.
Your piece has reminded me of the beauty and the gift that parenting is. The way that you have celebrated your newly minted 18yo daughter is truly special. Thank you for sharing this with us here.
Thank you so much Tiffany. I think it will take me some time to adjust to her going to Uni and beyond, although I’m happy it’s happening! So many conflicting feelings. Your son sounds awesome! ✨⭐️✨
"When it rains look for rainbows, when it’s dark, look for stars."
The very best advice I have ever heard. Lovely piece. Thanks for sharing. And Happy Day to the Birthday Girl!
Thanks so much Frances! Yes I put that quote in with many of my jewellery pieces I send out. ⭐️🌈✨
You are such an inspiration. I'm so glad I found you. I need to share those words with my daughters. Keep writing and inspiring us xx
Oh thanks so much Fiona, I’ll do my best to keep going! ☺️💛✨
Aah this is so lovely, I hope you enjoy the Dear Daughter series. It's quite magical. I wrote mine at the end of my post today too 💕 . It was quite heartbreaking to write in some ways yet also so beautiful - did you feel the same? xx
https://open.substack.com/pub/emmasimpsonauthor/p/dear-daughter?r=291wza&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true
I saw it Emma, it was lovely. Yes I found it a challenge to write but I’m glad I made the effort as she loved it! 💛🌼💛
Aah that's so lovely. My daughter's abroad just now so I'll have to wait until she gets back to see how it's been received! What a gift for your girl on her special birthday x
Yes though I think she still preferred the phone we all chipped in for 🤣 I hope she can look at it when she’s older too xx
🤣🤣🤣 brilliant 🤣
So beautiful ❤️ will you be my mum, too?
Haha, of course Sue! 🤗 🤣
It’s a shame I finally know how to be a mother now she’s about to leave home! 😅
You'll always be her mum. My daughter is 32 now and we get closer with every year, especially now she has children of her own.
That must be lovely. I hope to stay close with mine and hope she has children one day 🤞😁
It's absolutely wonderful as sadly in contrast I have an awful relationship with my own mother.
That’s wonderful that you broke the pattern! 💛
Indeed!
What a beautiful and emotive post, stirring so many deep reflections! Happy birthday to your daughter – what a significant milestone! My children are still young, but I always write a mini letter to them within their birthday cards (I buy bigger-sized ones for this purpose). I've never written a letter to my 18-year-old self, but I've thought about things I would love to hear back then. I think that, at times, I still need to hear them. Maybe it's never too late to write it?
Thank you, Kate x
That’s such a lovely thing to do for them Aleks. As I was writing this for my daughter I found it lovely to hear the words myself. It seems strange but we can heal ourselves through our own words too. Maybe you can write yourself a note too! ⭐️
This brought tears to my eyes. I think we all wished for a letter like this at 18. To be told we were enough and have permission to be the mud.
Thanks for reading Tansie. 🥹 And maybe we need to hear it all throughout our lives. ✨💛
Thanks for this beautiful invitation Kate. My 18 year old self still needs a lot of reassurance. My daughter is only 11 but as we are on the cusp of secondary school I think about how she will grow and change into young adulthood. This is such a tender and hopeful letter to reflect upon.
And reflecting on your first paragraphs: I think about all the things I didn’t do, all the things I have done as a mother - and the unexpected twists that are my daughter’s own making. ❤️
I think these letters can be healing and fill in the gaps still left within us. If we start with ourselves, it’s easier to pass what we needed on to our daughters too ❤️
Absolutely beautiful and heartfelt- I love the representation of the duality: there will be pain but also beauty they’re both part of life
I’m inspired to write something to my daughters too. Thankfully there’s still a lot of years until they’re 18… my writing in general is a form of attempt to create a legacy of sorts… that it’s something that they’ll be able to keep and read to their own children and grandchildren in the future (not necessarily the essays here but the compiled books that I have plans for ❤️
I think we have to be realistic as well as inspiring our girls to follow their dreams. Wonderful that you have big plans for your legacy Elin, so many will enjoy that! ✨💛😍
This is gorgeous Kate and resonant. My daughter is just 8 months old and I can feel the potency of this practice. I look forward to writing her a letter in the future. Thank you for sharing this with all of us❤️
I enjoyed writing it for her, and I was worried she might find it cringy but she loved it! Loved your letter too, you’ve been through so much. I hope you remember to write your daughter a letter when she’s old enough! 🙏🏻⭐️✨
This is so beautiful. As someone who is currently sitting in the dark, feeding my one year old daughter, this hit me hard. I can’t even imagine her at 18 yet but hearing your words transported me and taught me that I’m not going to do it all perfectly but she will be okay.. thank you 🙏
I can hardly believe this day has come, it’s quite surreal that it feels but long ago I was sitting in the dark feeding her! Yes don’t be perfect, perfect mothers are hard to live up to! Just be good enough and feel your way forward every day xx 🙏🏻⭐️💛
💜💜💜
Beautiful Kate! I’ve done a version of this exercise as part of Julia Cameron’s morning pages. It’s thought-provoking what it throws up.
Thanks so much Katie! 😊 And for sharing it. I never got round to doing Julia Cameron’s book 🫢 I’m sure it’s full of gems!
Ah Kate, this was a wonderful read and so beautiful to witness the relationship with your 18 year old daughter. My daughter is just 4 so in some ways impossible to imagine her as an 18 year old though I can already feel the parallels with the exquisite (yet also excruciating) unravelling as she starts to make her way in the world, beginning with school later this year…(ah my heart, I hope she will be ok!)
Your observations of the world, and her through your eyes are beautiful xx
Thank you so much for your kind words Lyndsay. 💛 Oh the first day of school is a big one! It’s an adjustment for you both, for sure! ✨
I’m finally getting to sit with these words, and they make me feel so emotional. I can’t imagine how I will feel when my daughters are 18… but I hope I can write them a letter like this. So beautiful. Xx
Thanks for reading Lauren, I loved writing this for her. I couldn’t imagine it when she was younger either! I know people always say this but it’s come around so fast!